Can ‘Goddammit Pearl’ be a meme? She’s already given us an abundant amount of material, and it just feels right.
Format: The applicability of the maxi challenge with awards shows is undeniable what with the queens’ guaranteed appearance at the NewNowNext awards and… that time where Logo had people vote and they sent the queens laminated certificates and also… next year’s NewNowNext awards… if they were a real standout during their own season. Ok, maybe not the most applicable so moving on.
I thought that having the queens actually vote for the categories was such a fantastically shady way to fan the flames and I think with any other season it would have resulted in an explosive Untucked. Like imagine Langanja going up to accept ‘Most Busted Queen’ and how uncomfortably long she’d hold the audience hostage as she explains how she actually wants the world to hold her hand and now she feels very attacked.
Anyway, let’s talk about some queens:
This week Jaidynn Diore Fierce gets to live life without judgement.
Ginger Minj– All I could think the entire time.
Also, it’s Tony Bowls, right? Because at first I wrote it out how she said it, which was Tony Balls, and then I was like, “…Probably not that.”
Anyway, did they cut out a discussion of what Ginger’s gone through during Untucked or was it just something that they couldn’t it in during the main episode? And if they did cut it out why bother considering, with it not being on a network now, Untucked now has a varied runtime now.
Also, with that in mind, considering Ginger mentioned it during this episode of Untucked, why didn’t we get to see Mr. Davis’ message for Kasha last Untucked? Again, it’s the internet and Drag Race fans are obsessed; no one gives a shit if Untucked is longer than an extended edition of Lord of the Rings.
Kandy Ho– I get it, she’s revealing herself to be a more benign, nearly sweet queen, but honestly, the producers and Ru are doing the show a disservice by keeping her over queens who’ve got a better track record with being a personality.
Katya– There you go, gurl, all the volume you could ever need.
Kennedy Davenport– Is it me or does Kennedy sound exactly like a someone’s rough-around-the-edges grandmother? Like go back and listen to everything she says in every episode of Untucked; it’s all in the same crotchety, irritated tone no matter what emotion is being expressed.
Which I’m not saying as a negative, in fact I am all for more grumbly granny Davenport from here on out.
Max– Might as well break in that damned sash in now because, with Trixie gone too soon to really get it, it’s clear now that this queen’s got it in the bag.
Furthermore, to continue building evidence to my case presented last week, I hope everyone remember this scene from Untucked that I wrote down verbatim concerning the spilled drink episode that may or may not allude to a certain drag queen’s vampiric nature.
I’m just saying the signs are practically throwing themselves at us.
And look, she’s even in cahoots with a [werewolf]. Side note: Is that her boyfriend? Hopefully because he’s super cute.
And obviously, if she is truly undead, she’d never actually kill someone so I can only imagine the Hugh Grant level of awkward charm as she bumbles out a request to drink someone’s blood.
Finally, can we talk about special guest star Max’s encouraging hand?
Who is also Max’s slutty, carressing-with-a-pencil hand:
Previously on Untucked, in ironic defense of Miss Fame someone rasped:
This episode, we’ve gained insight as to what said brand is:
Miss Fame– Seriously, can you imagine the chicken farmer going up against Fame’s chickens with their beaks beat for the gods? I’m just imagining her rolling up like:
Also, I have to request for anyone that’s a fanartist; do you remember how in ‘Silence of the Lambs’ Hannibal Lecter drew a picture of Clarice with her sheep?
Someone please do a version of this with Miss Fame and a chicken. And send a link of it to me as soon as you do.
I feel like this episode saw a total 180 in the response to Miss Fame which turned us from viewing her as the out-of-touch narcissistic fashionista to now seeing her as the out-of-touch narcissistic fashionista who’s obsessed with chickens. Seriously, those two minutes of poultrified nonsense saved her ass in the eyes of the public, and just in time to partially fill the ‘likable queen’ void that Trixie left.
The only thing I wish from Fame is that she’d defy the odds and be able to command her hilarity, but I suppose we shouldn’t look a gift chicken in the mouth.
Not while said mouth is being vigorously penciled at the very least.
Mrs. Kasha Davis– It’s hard not to feel bummed that Kasha didn’t get to shine as much as I wanted for her considering, as I’ve mentioned before, Kasha Davis really is the first queen I was ever really exposed to. Yeah, I was 12, it was in an alleyway, and she just opened her trenchcoat right there in front of me.
But seriously, as a queen whose humor brought me into the world of drag, I can’t help feeling like she got screwed over because I mean, now I just can’t wait for Kandy’s turn on Snatch Game. I’m sure it’ll blow what Kasha would’ve done out of the water and beyond. So sure.
Also, can we talk about the premium slice of beef producer that guided Kasha after she was eliminated?
Forget the nerdy one that Trixie liked; Reddit, Tumblr, WORLD I want his nudes/shirtless pics found toute suite.
Well, unfortunately it’s the end of the line for the mother klucking diva that is MKD; Kasha, what’re your plans while waiting to shoot the reunion?
Gurl, that’s your solution for everything. Because it’s the correct solution.
Pearl– I think that breaks down the Ru/Pearl fight pretty accurately.
I have to say that this season has been, at times, like one of those horrific TBS commercials, [you know the ones where they have to ask if something is funny], but one thing they’ve excelled at is undermining and enraging RuPaul, and, much as I love Ru, I love her even more when she’s pissed. Seriously, this season better end with RuPaul snapping at the reunion in front of a studio audience or I will feel robbed.
For this fight in specific, honestly, nothing was more uncomfortable than everyone trying to laugh it off the next day and act like Ru was yet again somehow being inspiring.
Also, I love it when Pearl was suddenly the opening of a No Doubt video:
I feel like the skip in her step is me personified whenever we get to see the cigarette breaks because I feel like there is nothing more honest and real-to-life than a smoke break between queens and I’m happy all my fly-on-the-wall wishes are being fulfilled.
Violet Chachki– I feel like this [Spongebob scene] pretty accurately describes people’s reactions to Pearl and Violet.
Anyway, does Violet addressing her bitchiness and dancing around an apology mean that she’s hopped off the villain train? Because I’m not ready and I say full speed ahead, Conductor Chach!
And that’s it for this week, join me next week as Kandy Ho literally falls asleep during the maxi challenge, but Ru decides to keep her because of her potential.